Tag: Action
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Maze Runner: The Death Cure Review – What does it take to collapse
I didn’t see either of the other two Maze Runner films. That’s my own fault, the due diligence that I never bothered to perform. I was ready to go into the film ready to dismiss it, not in an asshole way, just a piece of YA-pop-trash arriving a couple of years after its time.
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The Commuter Review – Uncut Neeson
Now, the film is straight-up, legit goofball nonsense. Neeson plays a man who has rode the same train every day for ten years and on the day he’s laid off from work a mysterious woman boards with him and offers him $100,000 to identify and track a mystery passenger. Just from the premise it feels a little goofy.
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Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle Review: Nowhere Movie
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is a nowhere movie. It isn’t set anywhere, doesn’t have any real characters at all, nor does it have literally anything to say at all.
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Star Wars: The Last Jedi Review – The totality of it all
There’s a whole lotta movie in Star Wars: The Last Jedi. It doesn’t all work, it can feel muddled and disparate at times, the wild variety of tones that it tries to capture don’t quite settle into a script that feels far more invested in being funny.
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American Made Review – More like crapitalism
I am so fucking done with this type of film. Wahay, look at the excesses of American capitalism, aren’t they awesome? Look at this fucking white-ass guy with his amazing life, and his big house, and his much younger wife. He is so much better, more capable, more successful than you. Who cares if he’s breaking the law, in capitalism all you’re chasing is that almighty dollar so of course he’s justified. Watch as he outsmarts everyone around him, his co-workers, his family, the cartels, the American fucking government. They’re all trying to get a piece of the pie too so who gives a fuck?
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Logan Lucky Review – Cheerier than Wolverine
How long ago did Steven Soderburgh retire from films? I guess it don’t really mean so much when he claims that and then directs, shoots, and edits two whole seasons of a television show. He’s been tempted back to the big screen, he says, because he was passed a script so fun he couldn’t resist taking it on himself. That’s his story, nobody’s actually that sure if the credited screenwriter here even exists. Given that ‘Mary Ann Bernard’ and ‘Peter Andrews’ are transparent by this point there’s some reason to be suspect.
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The Dark Tower Review – Long live the King
I’m not sure what happened. I’m sure everyone’s mostly blameless. If I screwed up my job this bad I’d be fired.
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The Hitman’s Bodyguard Review – A comic drama
One of the best bits in The Hitman’s Bodyguard comes when the script tries to pull off one of the worst plot reveals of all time. Like, someone admits to being the reason behind someone else’s downfall and I’m not sure why I’m trying to keep it secret. It’s the most obvious twist of all time. I’m talking around it here; but when a film be about a bodyguard who loses his business in the opening minutes when a client is assassinated; and an assassin. It ain’t hard to put two and two together.
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Atomic Blonde Review – Spy vs spy
See I guess it goes like this. David Leitch co-directs John Wick (uncredited though) with Chad Stahelski. Around the same time Charlize Theron is coming off filming Mad Max: Fury Road and now she got the hard proof of her action chops she moves into production of an adaptation of The Coldest City, a passion project that she’d been chasing for a while. She poaches Leitch from John Wick 2 and the two projects start shooting within basically a month of each other. They’re like legitimately, duelling pictures.
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Shin Godzilla Review – Franchise evolution
Is it Fox who have the monsters universe going on now? It’s not Universal because theirs in the Dark Universe, Warner got all that DC stuff and Disney owns every other brand under the sun. Gotta be Fox.
A Grand Quiet 