Category: Film
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The Emoji Movie Review – Horrible hideous trash
I’ve been struggling to start my review of The Emoji Movie. It’s bad. It’s reeeaaaal bad. It’s so fucking bad. And I think that would probably be the cool way to approach it. You shouldn’t watch the The Emoji Movie because it’s shit. It’s a bad story, incredibly poorly told. It features some of the…
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The Big Sick Review – Love in the time of, oh, wait.
There this thing which happen when comedians create autobiographical material and then cast themselves in it. Like, it’s an extension of everything they put up on stage, the way they turn experiences into stories, how their life is deliberately distorted around this stage persona they create. Everything around a comedian has to turn into comedy.…
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47 Meters Down Review – It’s spelled metre guys
Johannes Roberts and Ernest Riera are men. You can tell this by their names. And also by the dialogue they give their two leads in this film. Whatever tension and thrills could have been generated by the later sequences, which I am excited to describe with such glowing terms as ‘capable’ and ‘functional’, are thoroughly…
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Girls Trip Review – Oh God I realised that title is a pun too.
It’s nice to see a studio comedy which is defined by its earnestness. Girls Trip engages full on with every moving cog part of its machinery. From the opening narration by a character who is unironically labelled the new Oprah, or perhaps the modern Oprah, it’s trying to be a film about connection. That old…
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City of Ghosts Review – Raqqa is being slaughtered silently
This ain’t that great a review. I don’t have much to say here aside from that City of Ghosts is a brilliant, amazing film and you should totally all see it.
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Scribe Review – Apolitical thriller
Google seems confused about this film’s title. For the sake of convenience I’m gonna go with the one on my ticket: Scribe. Somewhere else there’s someone believes this film goes by a different name, they call it The Eavesdropper. I’m interested in what these two titles mean, how they assign both action and intent. To…
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Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie Review – Film of the year 2017
If there were any kids’ movie which may as well have a big sign painted on the front that said essentially ‘NO GIRLS ALLOWED’ it would be this one. Like, there’s one woman in the movie, an adult not one of the kids, and even then she’s treated solely as this disposable love interest type…
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Dunkirk Review – One for all
Seems like Chris Nolan been listening to his critics. They say he struggles to build compelling and emotionally nuanced characters, he goes and creates a film without any. They say that his plots are tightly wound but don’t hold up under scrutiny, Dunkirk is virtually plotless. They say he mixes dialogue waaaaaaaaay too fucking low…
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The Beguiled Review – Southern hospitality
Y’all know going through this I was struggling to put the pieces together. Like, it seems almost impossible. Modern feminist filmmaker making a joint in which a bunch of women are all doting and fighting over this one man. What? Why? Feels like a misstep, I eventually got it though and once I did it…
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The Death of Louis XIV Review – What it says on the tin
The Death of Louis XIV promises one thing and slowly, agonisingly delivers upon it. The opening credits play over the king of France being pushed around the palace gardens for the final time, after the title card hits we do not spend even a single second outside his quarters. The king remains in his bed…
A Grand Quiet 