Category: Film
-
Berlin Syndrome Review – Dank, and not in a good way
Berlin Syndrome is a 110 minute movie. If you’d asked me how long I’d been in the cinema right after it ended I’d have said about two and a half hours. It’s not a particularly slowly paced movie, it’s just unbearable.
-
From the Land of the Moon Review – No idea either
I don’t have too much to say about From the Land of the Moon aside from how boring it is. Like, it’s real dull.
-
My Cousin Rachel Review – Les Cousins Dangereaux
Oh man, this is way better than I was expecting. Like I thought it’s be some second tier gothic period thriller from a lesser known Daphne du Maurier title but heck, this one actually got some go to it.
-
My Life as a Courgette Review – Small and perfect
It’s a light film, gentle and composed in a way that leads it to fly through its running time. Don’t mind it though, 66 minutes is the right length for this thing, the quiet confidence it expresses, its insistence in finding the meaning in the small tender moments in these lives is magical, all that…
-
After the Storm Review – Ode to the shitty fathers
It’s a bad dad tale. I guess the real tragedy is that he’s not even close to being the worst dad we’ve seen on the screen and even then he don’t get off too easy. At the same time, speaking as someone with they own daddy issues, he gets more than he deserves.
-
Pirate of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge Review – I’m human garbage
Okay, sure, Dead Man’s Chest is a incoherently structured trashpile and At World’s End is an overlong, overstuffed mess and with On Stranger Tides they realised far too late that Depp’s Jack Sparrow can’t carry a film on his own. But despite all that, despite all the self-indulgence and self-importance threatening to overwhelm it, there’s…
-
Baywatch Review – Needs more gay
here’s two dick jokes in Baywatch. Well, I mean there’s more than two dick jokes in Baywatch, come on, but there are two major setpiece dick jokes. That’s the level we’re working on here.
-
Wonder Woman Review – Don’t let the dicks get you down
There probably exists a time in the future when there’ll be a critical reappraisal of Wonder Woman. People will be asking, ‘Was that it? People got so excited over that?’ There’ll probably be some sort of vindication for all the shitty complainy men who so frequently whine over this sort of thing. We’ll forget that…
-
The Red Turtle Review – Agonising perfection
Michaël Dudok de Wit’s The Red Turtle is just sickeningly beautiful. Seriously. It’s like every frame is draped with so much perfection that it becomes impossible to glimpse the working parts underneath. It’s so striking, so mercurial that you really can’t deny the power of the thing.
-
The Other Side of Hope Review: Something being said
Damn, why is it that all the Nordic movies are the most determinedly stylish? If it ain’t Juho Kuosmanen buying up Europe’s entire stock of 16mm b/w film for The Happiest Day in the Life of Olli Mäki or Roy Andersson playing with the nature and texture of digital filmmaking in his Living Trilogy then…
A Grand Quiet 