Category: Uncategorized
-
The Shape of Water Review – Merman fantasy
Do you wanna fuck the fish man? Cos I lowkey wanna fuck the fish man. It’s surprising I guess, when I was seeing trailers for The Shape of Water you didn’t see much of the wet dude and I figured they’d make him sexier. Y’all know, help the audience buy into your scaly romance feature…
-
Star Wars: The Last Jedi Review – The totality of it all
There’s a whole lotta movie in Star Wars: The Last Jedi. It doesn’t all work, it can feel muddled and disparate at times, the wild variety of tones that it tries to capture don’t quite settle into a script that feels far more invested in being funny.
-
Some Cold Takes – Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul is bad, broken, frustrating and pretty much written off as a lost cause by everyone involved.
-
Their Finest: Its own propaganda
Chris Nolan’s Dunkirk is coming out later this year. I hope it’s good. The film websites are already full of the news, Director of Photography Hoyte Van Hoytema, manhandling the IMAX camera to capture war’s viscera. The trailer for it actually was played before my screening. Maybe we’ll someday get a film about its production…
-
The Time of Their Lives: Old and white
Goddamn old people and their shitty movies. The Time of Their Lives is a wastebag of a film, as poor as the photoshopping on that dreadful poster. Perhaps it’s not their fault they are no longer able to have orginal ideas, that they are so inured to the way things used to be that the furthest…
A Grand Quiet 