The week before last was pretty rough. Last week was pretty rough. Work has been extremely tiring and outside of that I’ve had no energy to get excited at anything. I’m in one of those phases again where the road ahead seems undefined and endless. When the world seems like that the purpose of each individual step is hard to discern.
The embarrassing thing is that I literally never remember how to write these things. Every week I pause a little. ‘How do I start this?’ I’ve applied for another promotion at work recently and there’s no way to make me hate myself more than ask me to write about my talents and accomplishments. As far as I’m aware I’m a disaster, I don’t really make no bones about it. I’m basically trash adjacent at this point; in my better moods I think I’m improving but then I’ll have a bad day or an unproductive week and all those worst habits of mine will express themselves and I’ll float right on back to self-hatred for a while.